You don’t just survive abuse—you grow beyond it. One intentional step at a time.

Healing Has a Pattern—Even If It Feels Messy

Healing from abuse can feel like a tangled mess. Some days you feel strong and sure. Other days, you're triggered by a memory, a tone of voice, or your own self-doubt.

It can be overwhelming.

But healing isn’t a single decision—it’s a process.
And while everyone’s path is unique, there is a foundational pattern you can follow. These four steps are like anchors in the storm, giving you clarity, direction, and peace.

🌱 Step 1: Ground Yourself in TRUTH

You cannot heal from what you won’t name.
The first step is acknowledging the reality of the abuse you’ve experienced.

This means:

Calling it what it was/is—abuse, not just “a difficult relationship”
Stopping the self-blame
Accepting that even if he sometimes “loved” you, he consistently hurt you
Recognizing the pattern, not just isolated incidents

Truth is stabilizing.
Even when it hurts, truth brings peace because it clears the fog.

“And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” —John 8:32

🛑 Step 2: Use DISCIPLINE to Emotionally Disengage

Healing requires more than distance. It requires emotional discipline—choosing to stop giving him the emotional power to define you.

This looks like:

Refusing to explain or defend yourself endlessly
No longer making decisions based on what he might think
Choosing silence over arguments, peace over performance
Using the Gray Rock or Yellow Rock method when necessary
Learning to say: “His emotions are not my responsibility.”

You are not cold—you’re wise.
Disengaging is not spiteful. It’s survival.

“Be still, and know that I am God.” —Psalm 46:10

🕊️ Step 3: TRUST Safe, Appropriate Support

Abuse isolates you. But healing happens in safe connection.

This step is about learning to:

Lean into healthy, trustworthy people
Choose support systems that honor truth
Receive validation without shame
Allow others to walk with you—so you’re not doing this alone

You were never meant to survive in silence.
You were made for honest, loving community that strengthens and empowers you.

“In the multitude of counsellors there is safety.” —Proverbs 11:14

🔁 Step 4: PRACTICE Becoming a Boundaried Person

Healing is not a finish line. It’s a daily practice.
This step is about building habits that protect your peace and honor your worth.

You’ll begin to:

Say no without guilt
Stop over-explaining
Check in with your needs before bending to someone else’s
Create routines that restore your body and soul
Live from self-respect instead of self-sacrifice

Boundaries are not walls. They are doors you choose to open with wisdom.

“Let all things be done decently and in order.” —1 Corinthians 14:40

You’re Not Broken—You’re Becoming

Healing from abuse is not easy, and it’s not instant. But it is possible.
And it’s worth it.

Step by step—truth, discipline, trust, and practice—you become the version of yourself that’s been waiting all along:

✨ Clear.
✨ Peaceful.
✨ Wise.
✨ Free.

You are already on your way.

xo, Denalee

The 4 Steps to Heal from Abuse