After you've been hurt, hardness can feel a lot like strength.
You tell yourself you'll never be fooled again.
You'll stop giving people the benefit of the doubt.
You'll expect less, trust less, need less.
And for a while, that hardness may even feel protective.
But I've come to believe there is another kind of strength.
The strength to remain soft.
You Don't Have to Become Like What Hurt You
Being soft doesn't mean being naive.
It doesn't mean tolerating poor behavior, ignoring your instincts, or opening your life to people who haven't earned your trust.
You can have strong boundaries and a tender heart.
You can say no and still be kind.
You can recognize manipulation without becoming suspicious of everyone.
You can walk away from cruelty without carrying cruelty with you.
Healing doesn't ask you to harden your heart. It teaches you to guard it without closing it.
There is an enormous difference.
Keep What Was Always Beautiful in You
Maybe you are naturally generous.
Maybe you notice when someone is sitting alone.
Maybe you cry at movies, rescue spiders, send birthday cards, give second helpings, or stop to admire every beautiful sunset.
Keep those things.
The fact that someone once took advantage of your kindness does not make kindness the problem.
Your compassion was never the weakness.
The lesson was simply that not everyone should have unlimited access to it.
So become discerning.
Become wise.
Learn to recognize what is healthy and what isn't.
But please don't believe healing requires becoming someone colder than the woman you were before.
There is strength in remaining tender in a world that has given you reasons not to be.
Protect your softness.
Give it wisely.
And let the people who know how to treasure it come close.