You Don’t Owe Your Abuser Closure

You’ve finally made the decision to step away from the chaos, the pain, the control.

But then the doubt creeps in:

“Should I explain?”
“Should I meet with him just once more?”
“He says he deserves closure…”

Here’s the truth: You don’t owe your abuser closure.

Closure requires mutual respect, safety, and shared responsibility — none of which are present in an abusive dynamic. Abusers aren’t looking for healing conversations. They’re looking for a way back in.

When they ask for “closure,” it’s often a manipulation designed to:

• Reignite guilt and self-doubt

• Re-establish emotional or physical access

• Twist the narrative in their favor

• Shift blame back onto you

• Delay your exit or healing process

They may say:

• “You owe me a conversation.”

• “I deserve to say my piece.”

• “You’re being so cold and immature.”

• “You just left without warning.”

• “You can’t just cut people off like that.”

But here’s what they won’t say:
“I know I hurt you, and I take full responsibility. I want what’s best for you.”
Why? Because it’s not about your healing — it’s about their control.

Closure doesn’t come from an abuser’s permission. It comes from your own clarity. It comes from choosing peace over performance. It comes from walking away without needing them to understand.

You are allowed to end the story without writing them a final chapter.

Leaving is hard enough. Don’t let guilt drag you back into the very thing you fought so hard to leave.
You don’t owe them closure. You owe yourself freedom.