Jealousy is Not About Love — It's About Possession

“I just get so jealous because I love you so much.”
It sounds passionate. Maybe even flattering. But make no mistake —
jealousy is not love.
It’s
control. It’s insecurity. And in abusive relationships, it’s about possession.

Jealousy is Control

Jealousy becomes abusive when it’s used to:

  • Monitor your time, your phone, your friendships

  • Control who you talk to or where you go

  • Punish you for being “too friendly” or “too attractive”

  • Accuse you of cheating or flirting, without cause

  • Make you feel guilty for living your life

You might have heard:

It is about ownership
  • “Who were you texting?”

  • “I don’t like the way he looked at you.”

  • “Why do you need to dress like that?”

  • “You’re mine. You don’t need anyone else.”

This isn't about love — it’s about ownership.

In healthy relationships, there’s trust, security, and freedom. Jealousy might pop up occasionally, but it’s handled with honesty and maturity. In abusive relationships, jealousy is a weapon. It creates fear, isolation, and constant self-monitoring.

Abusers often disguise this behavior as devotion — but it’s actually an attempt to shrink your world down to them.

Real love doesn’t cage you. It celebrates you.

  • Love is never possessive.

  • You’re not causing undo attention by being attractive, friendly, or social.

  • You are not property.

You are allowed to have your own life, your own connections, your own freedom.

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How Abusers Rewrite History to Stay in Control